Adjusting Expectations

Tonight I was reminded of unfulfilled expectations. Titus (my middle son) ordered a video game from Amazon. I have a prime account and so things normally get here pretty quick, unless you are kid waiting on video game! So it was scheduled to arrive tonight and for whatever reason, it didn't. More than likely it will be here tomorrow, but that is a whole day too long for him =). As he was super disappointed about the lack of delivery, Carrie tells him that next time we order something we will just tell him it will be here in 2 weeks, that way if it comes earlier it will be exciting.

As I was sitting here thinking about Titus' expectation and discouragement, I was challenged in my own life. We are so used to men failing in fulfilling promises, that we often lower our expectations. That philosophy has expanded and trickled down into our walk with God though. We don't dream big things for God, that way we aren't disappointed when He doesn't deliver. 

Ok, so maybe we don't exactly say it like that, but we live like it. We don't pray like we are praying to a God who LOVES to give good gifts to His children. We pray like we are trying squeeze a raise out of Ebenezer Scrooge. But it isn't just our prayer life that gets beaten down by this mentality. It is our witnessing (what if they get mad?, or what if they ask me a question I can't answer?), our giving (what if I can't pay the bills?, or what if I need that money for me?), our worship (what if serving God doesn't make me as happy as I thought it would?, or what if don't understand part of it?), our service (what if people don't like how I run this particular ministry?, or what if I mess up and miss someone or something?). I could go on and on, but I think you get my point. 

When was the last time that you asked something big from God. Not a pay raise, not a new car type prayer, but a real request for God to do something big. Like praying that God will bring revival to your family, your church, and your community. Or praying that God would use you to lead 10 people to the Lord in the next year, or that God would allow you to support a missionary directly, or that God provide you an opportunity to take a missions trip, etc. When we pray big things of God, we can pray them with excitement, courage, passion and confidence. Why? Because we pray them to a big God who is worthy of the worship that big things give. 

When it comes to our expectations of God, let's make them realistic, make them big!

Why I would Preach the Funeral of a Gay Person

Over the past few days controversy has stormed in our small town and surrounding areas. The charge was made that 2 local pastors, of whom I am not personally familiar, refused to do the graveside service of a gay man. Most of the original article that stirred the waters has since been found to be mostly untrue, but the issue is out there and needs to be addressed.

Just a few minutes ago our local paper called and they are doing a survey of pastors in our area, we have 70 plus churches in the area. They wanted to know my position and what I would do if I was asked to do the funeral. So here was my response:

How I choose who I will do a funeral for:

• Are they a person? (I don't do animal funerals, unless it is our pet and my kids want one)
• Will I have the freedom to preach the Gospel?
• Is the purpose of the funeral to glorify God, or glorify man or sin?
• I don't do funerals where the family wants to glorify sin over God.

If I choose to not preach a funeral because a particular sin is evidenced in the deceased persons life, which lists of sins would I have to use? I have never preached a funeral for a perfect person before. I have preached the funerals of some godly men, and I have preached the funerals of drug addicts who committed suicide, but they were all sinners. 

As with every funeral our church hosts, I give the same guidelines, we don't glorify the sins of men, we glorify the glory and graciousness of God. It is my desire to minister the Gospel of Jesus to people who are hurting and need him. I can't imagine a more needy place than a funeral of a sinner.

The Language of Gratefulness

Of all the issues that the modern church in America is facing, I tend to think one of the biggest is the lack of personal and collective gratefulness. It seems that everyone loves to complain and the church is no exception. We complain about our jobs, house, taxes, spouses, friends, church programs, calendars, struggles, finances and we even tend to complain about other people who complain a little too much.

With so much conversation fixed on complaining, have you ever wondered what a week would sound like if you never heard one complaint? Since it is impossible to control the speech of others, this gives us an easy out. But maybe we need to ask the question a little differently. What would a week sound like if I never complained? How radically different would your conversations be?

One quick note before we get too far down this road. Not complaining and being grateful aren't the same things. Not complaining is a good start, but it isn't the ultimate goal (glorifying God is).

Here are three starting points for a grateful heart and ultimately a grateful life:

1. Intentionally choose gratefulness
• Gratefulness isn't our default setting. We are prone to be proud, believing that we deserve better and more. This is are default setting. So if we are going to live a life of gratefulness it will have be done intentionally. When Paul wrote "in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" he wasn't saying to be thankful for the good times. His life was full of disappointments, hardships and struggles. He was saying choose to be thankful no matter then circumstance you face.
2. Intentionally communicate gratefulness
• If we make a choice to be grateful, but we don't express that gratefulness we are missing a major aspect of it. Christians should be the examples of grateful speech. When I talk about grateful speech it needs to exceed the simple sayings of  "please" and "thank you." We need to be able to verbally be grateful for other people's service, for areas of growth, for difficult times that God uses to refine us, for circumstances that don't work as we expected them to. When was the last time you told someone how grateful you were for their ministry? or for a trial God was leading you through? Make a commitment to speak words of gratefulness.
3. Intentionally limit ungratefulness
• Remember the saying "a bad apple spoils the whole bunch"? We can make an intentional choice to be grateful and to speak that gratefulness to others, but if we are surrounded by others who are constantly ungrateful the effect will be minimal. I am not suggesting that you only have friends that do not complain, that would be an impossibility. I am saying that if we constantly listen to complaining, our heart will join the conversation. Lead the conversation to truth and gratefulness, and if you can't do that, join a conversation you can. 

May our lips be full of gratefulness because our heart is full. May the Gospel so change our heart that we no longer live in pride, but may we be Christians who are defined by gratefulness.