Does Grace Mean I Can’t Judge?

As a Pastor I often hear two statements said, sometimes to me, sometimes just in general. First, “who are you to judge?” The assumption of this statement is that since we are all sinners, we have no right to confront another about their sin. Second, “You should just love people for who they are.” The assumption of this statement is that love means that I am happy for you to be just the way you are, no improvements needed.

Let’s look at each statement individually.

“Who are you to judge?”

I would agree that we are all sinners, but that doesn't exclude us from being able to evaluate other people’s actions in light of the Scripture. I Corinthians 5:12 lays out the command for the church to judge other Christians. (A quick note about judging: nowhere in scripture are we allowed to assess motives. I don’t know why you did what you did, and you don’t know why I did what I did, but we can both see what the other is doing. So judging someone is simply looking at their life through the lens of the Bible.) We are responsible to keep each other accountable and to lovingly confront those who are in sin.

“You should just love people for who they are.”

Once again there is some truth in this statement. I am to love others as Christ loved me. In Romans 

5:8 we find that God loved us while we were still sinners. But the amazing thing about God’s love was that He doesn't desire for us to stay as sinners. He wants to sanctify us and make us into the image of Christ. I love my boys, with all their faults, but I don’t desire that they remain with those faults. I desire that they be corrected and molded into a better person that more accurately represents Christ.

Why Judge?

We judge because the testimony of Christ is at stake, the reputation of the church, and our progressive sanctification. Judging is hard, but necessary. It is imperative that as we judge we realize that we are capable of falling into the same sin (Gal. 6:1) and that we have the goal of restoration always in mind. Judging isn't winning, or being better, it is recognizing that another person has an area of struggle. They may struggle in a different area than me, but their flesh has a stronghold and I am commanded by God to help, so are you.

When to Judge?

Here is the where the real difficult parts start to weigh on us. How big of an issue does it have to be before we confront? How often should we confront? Where is an appropriate place to confront? These difficult questions really have simple answers if we follow Matt 18. If you know someone overtaken in a sin, confront. You notice a pattern developing, or you see an action that is an affront to the Gospel, confront. You confront one on one. Don’t start with an attack, don’t assume motive, simply state what you have observed. Ask them to pray with you about it. Tell them you would love to keep them accountable. Minister with as much grace as you would want them to do when they confront you (this is going to happen unless you never sin =).  Never confront in public if at all possible. There is always an exception to the rule, but normally make it a private matter. Public confrontation make the person extremely defensive, confrontation is already hard to take, do it in public and it is almost impossible to take.

There are tons of great resources out today about this topic and I encourage believers to spend some time praying about this specific role they have in the health of the church. Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

Next post: When we love confrontation too much!