Living in an Abusive World

Last week I was reading various sports articles and came across an article on Ray Rice getting a 2 game suspension. Players are getting suspended all the time in the NFL, but what stood out to me was what he was suspended for.  He received a 2 game suspension for knocking out his then fiancé (now wife). To put that in perspective, Terrelle Pryor was suspended for 5 games for signing autographs for money while he was in college. Simple math says he could have knocked out 2 women and still got a shorter suspension.

The point of this blog post isn't to rail on the NFL. It is to simply point out that we live in a messed up world. A world where it is worse to sign some objects than it is to knock out your fiancé. This messed up thinking has over time found its way into the church.

In an abusive world, the abusers blame the victims. This shouldn't surprise us in any way, but what should surprise us is how often that mentality filters into the church. Our world is full of people who have been abused either verbally, physically or sexually and the church should be the place of safety for them. But often it becomes a place of stigma and shame. A place where not only are they not welcomed and loved, but they are shunned and marginalized.

A few simple thoughts on how a church can be a safe haven for the abused.

1.      Be trustworthy- abuse victims have trust issues, recognize that and embrace them anyway

2.      Be their advocate- often victims fall into the cracks. Either people don’t believe them, or people don’t report the abuse. As Christians we need to believe and report issues.

3.      Be patient- the church needs to be ready to listen when a victim is ready to speak, but they also need to realize that it takes time for them to do that.

4.      Be willing to deal with sin even if it is costly- one of the major reason abusers are dealt so lightly with, is that most organizations don’t want a black eye. They are more worried about PR than the victim, the abuser, or the Gospel.

We need to be churches that are willing to stand in the gap for people who have been abused. We need to be willing to love those who have been traumatized and may not love back. We need to be willing to stand against abusers no matter how popular or important they are. We need daily grace so that we can show daily grace to others.