My Struggle With Silence

As a Dad with three young boys, I love silence. I don't hear it much but I love silence, well at least most of the time. During our extended afternoon communion service yesterday I noticed something that showed it self again today as I was praying, it was too quiet.

When I get silent before God, I am not real patient. As a type A guy, who is a fast talker and quick thinker, silence in conversation often makes me feel uneasy. I have learned over the years to be patient with others during conversation and so I don't get bothered much by pauses in personal conversations.  But as we had a corporate prayer yesterday I was reminded that I haven't mastered the ability to master listening in my prayer time. As the auditorium fell silent, I felt my mind asking for a sound, really any distraction. Even this morning as I was praying (the Lord was gracious this weekend, I have a massive cold, but the Lord allowed me the strength to preach a funeral, a wedding and Sunday Services, and sing two specials, but this morning my voice is gone, but it held out and I am praising God for that!) my mind seemed to desire an interruption, something to break the silence.

This struggle reveals an area of my life that I lack patience in. I am too often in a hurry when I speak to God. I want to praise Him, or maybe even plead with Him, but after I done with that I don't wait for response. I don't wait for God to answer.

As I write this post, I want to you to know that Pastors struggle with basic growth issues, just like every other redeemed sinner does. I am massive list person, so today I added to my list "prayer time" followed by "sit for 5 minutes in silence and let God speak". I can't tell you how hard that was! I had to keep clearing my mind of the days events and meetings, but God still was kind to me. He reminded me of people who needed prayer, He reminded me of grace that I had been given, He reminded me of grace that I needed for today.  Today it was a gentle quietness from God, somedays I need the stern quietness of God to rebuke my sinful heart.

In a day of noise, music, commercials, media, social networking and more, let me encourage you to make time to stop. Simply stop and be quiet before a holy God who wants to speak to you. If you were still what would God say to you? This question is worth answering!